What should go first in relationships: Love or Trust?

We can wholeheartedly say that managing a relationship is a form of art. But being romantically involved with someone doesn’t just mean spending quality time, holding hands, and having sex. It also involves a little thing we know as love. Yep! We’re talking about the butterflies in your stomach and being head over heels for that one person. Then again, there’s another factor. It’s trust, and it’s essential for any relationship to work.


But out of these two, which is more significant, you might wonder. It’s a legitimate question to ask, definitely. However, there’s no straight answer. Both factors work as pillars of healthy relationships, regardless of whether they are teenage romances or life-long marriages. As such, don’t let any cheap relationship guide fool you into accepting one over the other. It’s a much more complex topic, and we’re about to dive deep into it.

Why Love Is Essential to Relationships

At some point in life, everyone finds love. And when they do — they know it. There’s no doubt about it. It’s when your heart skips a beat as you see your partner appear in front of you and words come out of their mouth. In other words, love is like being on top of the world. As soon as our hormones start to kick in, we all begin to search for it. It’s the motivation behind all our lives, and in the end, it seems like everything comes down to it.


But why is love important in relationships? Well, love isn’t just a part of romantic relationships between two partners. It exists both among friends and family members. And it’s there because it binds and glues two people together. Without love, there wouldn’t be that irrational thought that moves you forward to step onto the line and deliver when it matters the most. It helps us bridge differences and forget each other’s faults.

What Trust Can Do to Relationships

Despite common belief, love isn’t the only factor that fuels relationships. If we can say that love is the irrational part of being with someone, trust is its counterpart, its roots being in the rational that keeps both feet on the ground. Without trust, there is no true love. And if two people can’t rely on one another, well, their romantic journey will end sooner rather than later. After all, it’s why trust issues are the most common reason for breakups.

But it’s not just about one partner cheating on the other and infidelity. Trust involves sharing sensitive information about yourself. From childhood traumas to how you feel about something, trust is in every pore of relationships. In fact, it means being brave enough to expose yourself to someone else. And if you can’t do it with your partner, that means that you aren’t cut out for one another and that the two of you are wasting precious time.

Love and Trust Difference in Relationships

When it comes to the difference between love and trust in a relationship, there exist couples who have one and not the other. Of course, you can’t say that they live in perfect harmony, but they somehow get by. In our eyes, such relationships aren’t firm enough. They are prone to breaking, and it’s mainly due to the lack of either love or trust.


You can be in love with someone but still not trust them. This is, unfortunately, what we call tragic love, and it’s actually quite Shakespearean. On the other hand, trusting someone but not loving them is also possible. And again, this isn’t the most healthy relationship either. It resembles a business deal more than it does romance.

What’s a Relationship Without Love?

Like we’ve said, being in a relationship with someone and lacking love is like managing a professional deal. It might not start like that, and you might have deep feelings for one another in the beginning. However, time takes its toll, and you wake up one morning next to a person that you don’t feel anything for. It all becomes a routine. Each day is like a shift at work where nothing excites you anymore.


The sad reality is that most relationships end up like that. No matter how happy people might seem at first, love is known to vanish. It goes where no one knows, leaving two partners feeling nothing for each other anymore. There might be trust between them, but that can’t make up for no love. Yet, what happens without love? Well, people drift from one another, separate, and start the search for the four-letter word all over again.

What’s a Relationship Without Trust?

Your love for your partner won’t mean a thing if there’s no trust between you. If you can’t bet on them to keep your back at hard times, well, it’s all going to end abruptly. Any guide to a healthy relationship must include trust as vital. Moreover, if you visit a relationship therapist, it’s the first thing they’ll talk about. Why? Because besides love, it’s a key factor that makes two people function as a unit, which any proper relationship should be.


But what happens if there’s no trust between you and your partner? Do you end things immediately? Nope! No trust is a slow burner. Partners begin to suspect something’s going on with the other person. They become suspicious, allowing poisonous thoughts to creep inside their minds. And regardless of whether their hunch turns out to be true or not, the damage is already done. Each new situation without trust triggers the same reaction.

But, Which Should Go First?

Now that we’ve somewhat defined what each of these mean and what relationships without them look like, which is more important? Love or trust? Neither! In our eyes, to experience a fulfilling relationship, you need both. Sure, you can be madly in love with someone but still not trust them. However, such a scenario isn’t exactly what we’d call happy. In fact, it’s more of an accident-waiting-to-happen kind of situation, as you allow for jealousy to creep in.


On the flip side, if you build trust but can’t find love, is that really a romantic relationship? To us, it seems more like a professional one where both partners work solely for their benefit. Without love, there’s nothing in it for the two of you. After a while, you’ll part ways, as love is a basic human need. It’s like air, food, and water. Without it, you can’t live a happy life. Sure, the breakup might be mild and mature, but it will still mean you back at the beginning.